Cut each piece of tofu in half and place between some paper towels. Gently press on the tofu to remove some moisture. Grab a large bowl and using your fingers, crumble the tofu. Add the paprika and snake bitten rub. Mix well
Dice the onions and mushrooms. Add butter to a medium sized pan and melt. Add onions and mushrooms, saute until the onions are translucent, about 5 minutes.
In a large pan over medium heat, add ¾ of the tofu mixture. Cook for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally. Let cool for 10 minutes and add back to the tofu mixture. Stir in the vital wheat gluten.
Preheat your oven to 400. Grab a baking pan and rub butter to prevent sticking. Form a hand with the tofu mixture. Start with the palm and then fingers. Baste with BBQ sauce and top with panco. Bake for 20 minutes.
Push the sliced almonds into the top of each finger. These are the fingernails!
Recipe by Astro Eater at https://www.astroeater.com/halloween-tofu-hand/